How to Embrace Vulnerability and Improve Your Writing
A fear of being vulnerable blocks many people from pursuing their desire to write. The idea of exposing yourself—your imagination, your flaws, opinions, ideas, and private thoughts–can be terrifying. but it can be helpful to learn to embrace vulnerability to improve your writing.
Approximately 15 million American adults suffer from some kind of social anxiety, but most people who feel the urge to write share a desire for connection. And if we want connection, we MUST risk vulnerability.
Signs that fear of vulnerability might stand between you and your desire to write.
You’re closed off from most people.
You work hard to maintain a certain image on social media or in social circles
You are easily embarrassed
You rarely share your life’s missteps or failings, even with your closest friends or loved ones.
What fear of vulnerability looks like in writing:
Writing is stilted or flat
•In fiction: bad things almost happen, but never actually happen; there’s very little conflict in the story; or the writer tells about difficulties but seldom shows the characters experiencing difficulties.
In nonfiction: the writer hides behind facts and statistics; the writer seldom owns his/her authority; the writer doesn’t take a stand or state a firm opinion.
How to embrace vulnerability
Think of the friend whose home you are most comfortable visiting. Think of the friend who you are most likely to invite into your home when it’s a filthy mess. Is it your friend with the perfectly-staged home? Or the one who lets you see her dust bunnies and her sink full of dirty dishes?
Scroll through your social media: who are your favorite personalities/influencers? The ones who are perfect? Or the ones who have shown you who they really are, behind the scenes, without makeup?
I can’t remember a time when I heard someone say, “I just love her. She’s so perfect and she never makes a mistake. She’s so relatable.” I’ve never heard anyone say, “She’s my best friend because she never has a hair out of place, her body is flawless and she only wears name brands.”
We connect to others through their flaws and imperfections.
We are drawn to people and to writers who are raw and honest. We read books and watch movies that are raw and honest because we can connect and relate.
Our vulnerable parts are the parts that are most relatable.
So if you feel an urge to write but something is stopping you, consider if a fear of vulnerability might be the culprit. Then think of the person who is waiting for you to write the thing that makes them say:
“Oh my gosh. I’m so glad I’m not alone.”